*For those who have also made mistakes in the past…(and maybe you still are)…we gon be alright.
I think I made a mistake when I decided to love you.
It was a choice but it didn’t feel like it. I could have ran away from you, far far away.
I don’t know how to do anything half way –
Because when I do, I die inside a little but
It feels like banging a nail into my own foot
So I…I knew that I either decided to love you or I just leave you alone entirely
And I think I made a mistake.
You haven’t broken me or anything.
You just didn’t choose to love me back
You are not drinking from the same waters of unrequited love as me.
So I feel naked around you.
And I think I made a mistake
Cause I can’t be naked around someone who isn’t naked with me too…ya know?
That’s weird. That makes me an exhibitor instead of a participant
And if I did make a mistake when I decided to love you
All the more mistaken was I when I feel in love with you
I’m not sure when that happened
I think somewhere around between love at first sight and love at second sight
Cause I don’t even believe in love at first sight.
Like at all
Then there was you.
And now there is me
I’m not ashamed that I decided to love you
I don’t think it was stupid
Maybe I just picked the wrong door.
I took a risk and maybe I just don’t win this time
This is what making a mistake and not having regrets feels like, at the same time.
Yeah, I think I made a mistake when I decided to love you.
But at the same time I am thankful.
Because you’ve been my gateway back to humanity
And away from assholes
You’ve been my reminder that I can be moved
That not everyone bores me
That I can be deeply stirred and be deeply stirring (even though you wouldn’t admit it ;-)…I don’t think)
You reminded me that another person could make me incandescently happy
Because even your voicemails make me blush
Just the sound of your voice
And I didn’t believe that was real
I hate to think my love for you, towards you, on you was wasted
Which is tempting because you aren’t drinking it all in
But even so. Even with just a glimmer, I suspect I leave a little something with you.
I think I made a mistake when I chose to love you
But choosing love is probably the only way I’ll come into it for myself
Being liberated in it is the better way
Even if it’s not returned
I’ll keep living that way
As much as I can
I really wish I could learn these things another way lol
But I am glad that I am still alive
And that I can still love and be loved
I’m glad that there’s a boy who can make me laugh like a girl
That there’s a man who can take my breathe away and make me light headed
And I’m glad you’re not the only one
Because you aren’t choosing to love me
Not that I can tell
And another one will
So even though I think I made a mistake when I chose to love you
I’m glad I did
All the best
And even some love, still.